The last one....

This is it.

The last section of the CPA exam.

Maybe not the last one I'll take, because I haven't gotten the scores back.

But the last "first time" I'll take it.

Preparing for these exams has been an up and down, rough and tumble experience.

I think mostly I've learned what it is to trust in God, what it is to love Him over worrying and what it is to choose joy over my circumstances.

I've been reflecting a lot about how God's plan is just so amazingly better than I could have ever imagined...it humbles me that I see it, yet I still choose to worry and "take control".

From here on out, I am determined to hold fast to God's will and to trust in that completely.

I pretty much can guarantee that I won't be perfect at this all the time, but I want to look to Him when things are hard and I want to choose to abide in Him.

4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
To God my exceeding joy;
And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God.
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
Psalm 43:4-5

Beautiful Brokenness

I need to just update everyone on life right now.

This past week has been such a crazy roller coaster for me.

It all started with getting a call on Monday that our apartment had been sublet. This is WONDERFUL news but I'm not going to lie, I was kind of freaking out. At first I resigned to just living with Reed's roommate Zach, but after a couple of good friends expressing their concern around whether or not that would be a wise or good thing for Reed and I's marriage, we decided that we should search for other places to live and have living with Zach a last resort. Not that Zach isn't great, just that living with anyone would be a last resort.

So that began the week of worry. I will be straight up and honest...I did not do this week well at all. I am completely humbled looking back at how I completely let this wreck my life. I have never felt so overwhelmed by something in my life...not ever. I didn't know how I was going to:
1. take the CPA exam in a little over a week when I was so behind
2. find a place for us to live
3. find somewhere for my stuff to go since we had to be out of the apartment by May 20th (also known as the date of my 4th and final CPA exam...which I signed up for in San Antonio)
4. how i was going to get the mountains of school stuff done in the next couple of weeks while simultaneously figuring out all of the above questions.

I know it sounds dramatic but it seriously just hit me like a bombshell and I really did feel hopeless and helpless. Again...I did not handle or do this last week well at all. I'm not really sure what to do with this feeling of "wow I really messed up", other than knowing that I can live in grace and not be confined or enslaved by that sin anymore.

Finally, after we resigned to live in the Valley (down near South Padre where my parent's have a house), we started to get some calls about places to live.

The first is from a lady who is exchanging a small one bedroom apartment above their workshop (which is separate from the house) for 20 hours a week of watching her kids. NO rent, utilities or internet, just needs someone to watch her kids. We are going to meet her on Wednesday and check out the place and meet the kids.

The second option is my friend Jennifer offered her room since she will be living with her husband over the summer in Houston.

Two doors...opened...after we submitted and trusted instead of remaining in a state of panic and bitterness because our plans changed.

I will be honest here....I still haven't learned much from this week. But I know I will, I feel God moving, I just don't know if I've "gotten the picture" yet. But I think I will choose to be faithful instead of worrying and trying to take control.

Oh and one other thing...I had my lingerie shower this weekend and it was SO much fun. But towards the end of the shower I started to feel achy and funny. Once we got in the car my lymph nodes in my groin and neck started throbbing. My whole body just felt feverish and gross.

So yes, I am sick...again.

And again, I'm not sure what this means. I'm not sure spiritually what to even think about my ability to get sick so easily.

But I'm just going to study as much as I can and rest as much as I can and hope that my swollen throat gets better so that I can start feeling better.

God is good. God is powerful and sovereign. God is the only almighty.

I think I lost sight of these truth's this last week. And I'm hoping that I keep getting refined through learning where I messed up this last week and especially through my sickness. It stinks being sick a lot. I can't imagine what only getting sick once a year feels like. But I'm going to choose to believe that God will use my chronic mono, because He is more than a conqueror.

I'm hardcore!

Sooooooooooooooo I got a little behind in studying.

And then all the sudden my test is in 6 days.

That equals me studying for 8 hours Monday, 8.5 hours yesterday and an estimated 8.5 hours today. Oh yeah and the same for the next couple days (minus Sunday, that will only be like 4 or 5 hours) until my test on Wednesday.

What is amazing, is I have not gotten burnt out.

I have to study this much though, because I haven't finished all the lectures (me writing this blog is a little break :) ). The lectures are typically 3 1/2 to 4ish hours. Then I have to reread the notes, so that I can actually know the material. Then I work the problems, which typically takes me 2 hours. I'm like halfway done with a lecture right now. So today is doing the work for that lecture and tomorrow I can finish the last lecture. Then I can have Saturday, Sunday (not for very much time, like I said above, I need a break sometime, plus Jesus time is non-negotiable). Then I still have Monday and Tuesday to review.

This is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY the Lord. I don't regret getting behind last week. I got some good time with family and got to be with Reed and his family when they needed me.

But it is just such a blessing to have strength the past couple of days. God is SO good! Like I have had energy to have quiet times (more consistent than when I have tons of time...funny isn't it) and I have been able to pull of working 4 hours and then still coming home and studying a full 8 to 8.5.

I pinned up Colossians 3:23-24 over my desk (where I have been doing most of my studying) and it has been so encouraging every time I want to give up. It says:

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

All I can keep saying, is this is totally God's grace. I've never been so encouraged and spurred on my reading a verse above my computer amidst studying. Usually studying makes me stress, cause I realize I'm so behind. But having God's Word above my study area has been a blessing.

Spring Break Update

Okay so I thought I was going to take pictures this spring break, but ended up not. I'm sorry. I promise I'll try and take pictures sometime so you guys can remember what my face looks like.

The biggest reason why I didn't take any pictures is because this break was ridiculously busy. It started with us getting into town late Saturday, then waking up the next morning to go to church, then running around after church trying to find some stuff for my first bridal shower and then racing to the bridal shower.

The shower was just EXHAUSTING. In the best way ever, but it tires me to have to be social and smiling for that long. I loved it though. It was so neat to have so many woman around me that loved me and were supporting me. All in all, I feel incredibly blessed.

The next couple of days were a whirlwind of dress fittings, shoe shopping, dress shopping, floral shopping and meeting with our event center. Reed's mom and sister were also in town, which meant that we spent a day in Fredricksburg too. By Wednesday, I was SO exhausted! But we managed to go shopping AGAIN that day to try and find a dress for my mom. It was good, but by the time we got back, I was pooped.

Thursday was an interesting day. It started with studying and then meeting my friend Meredith Harrell for a little lunch break (which was amazing and so needed). When I got back, I hung out with Reed and watched him beat the original Zelda game on our wii. We eventually had dinner and then Kristen (my sister) and I played mario party 8 on the wii. At the very end of our game Reed got a call from his dad that his grandparents (his dad's parents) had both died earlier that day in a car accident somewhere between Denver and Casper, WY (that is where they live). His dad had just found out and was calling him to let him know.

Reed was just shocked. For a while he just needed to sit and cry. Eventually, we started talking and decided we needed to go to Dallas to be with his family. We had heard that his grandparents didn't want a service, but Reed's dad was having a hard time so we knew that we needed to just be with them this weekend.

So the next day we ended up going to Dallas and the car ride was good. We just got a chance to talk and it really helped Reed settle down and feel a little better. We laughed and listened to music until I got a text from Jennifer telling me that CPA exam scores were up. I immediately went into nervous mode as Reed and I searched for free wi-fi. We finally found a Subway and I checked my grades and I PASSED! It was really exciting and Reed was really excited for me :)

After that, we kept on to Dallas and spent the weekend with his parents and sister. Reed helped to write the obituary and spent some good time with his dad. One evening we played diceology and his dad had such a great time. It was so good to see him smile :)

Things are still hard for their family, especially Reed's dad. I think he is just going to be sad about it for a while. The whole family is headed up to Wyoming this weekend for the reception, so please keep Reed, his dad and the rest of his family in your prayers.

God is good. And His timing is good. Pray that that truth would be a comfort to Reed's family.

I just don't know what to do with myself

Remember My Best Friend's Wedding, when Cameron Diaz sings that AWFUL song at the karaoke bar? Well that's what my title just made me think of :)

But I really don't know what to do with myself recently. I am still not feeling 100% and I don't think its that I'm so sick, it's just that I am so tired. My mom keeps telling me that its just how things are when you have chronic mono, and I'm sure that's true...but what do you do with yourself when moving around makes your lymph nodes swell up and makes you feel like its 4 AM all the time.

Well yesterday I just stayed in bed all day. Part of the day, I listened to Harry Potter playing on my laptop and just napped. When I finally woke up from my nap, I did some email checking and watched The Office.

After that, I took a shower and went to our friend's house to play the wii. You would think after a day of "saving up" my energy I would be able to go play the wii and have a little bit of energy.

Kid you not, I was tired at 9:30. We got there at like 7:30. LAME.

It's okay though, because today is just going to be catching up on CPA exam stuff. The good thing about that is I can do it all in my bed. Praise God for laptops, because I can be "resting" and also getting some catch-up stuff done as well.

Oh and one more thing...my favorite team, Liverpool, just beat Manchester United 4-1. That is like a dominating win. Not just "oh they won"...it's like "oh they just EMBARRASSED them!" haha! Here is a picture of Reed and I's favorite players! Torres (my favorite) is on the left and Gerrard (Reed's favorite) is on the right!

Have you filed your taxes?

I JUST DID!

As lame as it is...filing my taxes was my break from studying and working taxation problems.

I don't know if anyone out there knows this, but if you are low income (like below $33,000) you can use turbo tax online for free.

I've never used turbo tax but it is SO great! I love it! I love not having to worry about all the little tax rules! And I'm getting a lot back because I've been paying for my own school!

:)

Exciting!

Random fact: I've decided that I need to use my camera more. My freshman and sophomore year I used that sucker all the time. So be ready for a Spring Break Photo Update!

And other updates: I'm feeling so much better from being so sick on Sunday and Monday. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my doctor knows I have chronic mono, therefore he knows the meds that will "aggressively" kick whatever it is that I have. Apparently I had a bacterial infection in my throat. Apparently I don't even have to know anyone who has had this illness in order to catch it. I love my immune system!

The only weird thing about these meds is that they almost make me feel too energized. I had a hard time falling asleep last night and DEFINITELY regretted it this morning. Suprisingly, though, I haven't had any caffeine this morning. I mean I'm about to have a Diet Dr. Pepper, but making it to 10:30 without caffeine is saying something for me!

Okay well I'm off to work on my notecards then get some grub from Mays Fest. $ .50 Double Dave's pizza rolls and $1.00 Jamba Juice! You better believe that's where I'm getting my lunch from today! You can't beat those prices...You could get a decent lunch for $3!!

Yummmm :)

Taxes are Crazy!

They seriously are...I think I have an especially hard time studying them because they make no sense. The numbers are completely arbitrary it seems like.

This week's been weird because firstly, I HATE TAXES. I will never do them for anyone, unless they hand over turbo-tax...then I MIGHT. Secondly, I got this crazy phantom sickness Sunday. I have been really tired all week, but not much more than tired. Well I got this sudden feeling of tiredness so I took a nap and woke up feeling awful.

My throat was swollen, my ears were plugged, my whole head felt like it hated me with a passion and my body sort of ached.

It was like instant. Before the nap, I'm fine, after I wake up and feel like a zombie.

Poor bible study girls...I was so tired and so deathly looking. haha.

Anyways, Dr. Bacak is great and got me on some meds that have definitely calmed things down a TON...but now I'm in the stage where I'm still a little tired, but I know that I have enough energy to get some school work done. It just takes me an extra boost of energy to get motivated to memorize tax laws.

Sick out.

But here I go...Off to study! Pray for me, I hate getting sick, so I'm hoping this one is short.

¹Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

²fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

³For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Rest

This week has been such a hard but good week.

I have learned SO much from the exam I took on Tuesday.

It was ridiculously hard. I knew it would be hard, but I wasn't expecting them to ask random obscure questions. It made me feel a little better to know not everyone had the same test, so I had comfort in the fact that I had a hard test.

Then I started thinking of how unfair it would be if I didn't pass and other people did because they got the easy test. If I had there test, I probably would have passed too.

In small ways here and there, bitterness started to creep in my heart. I completely bought into the lie that it was not fair. I deserved better. I worked hard.

I talked with my mentor about it and she hit me dead on with a really hard hitting question...Do I really believe God is sovereign? What is the underlying fear keeping you from believing that?

I thought I had done pretty well thinking God was sovereign but ever since she asked me that question, I started to evaluate my heart on it all.

It was obvious I did not believe at all that God was sovereign. First, by my bitterness and complaints I saw that I truly believed people were in control and they were being unfair.

I guess it hit me hard when I realized that these had just been words for me. God being "sovereign" throughout this process was not being reflected in my thoughts and actions.

Praise God for exposing this sin. I think had my test gone well, I would not have had a clue that I didn't really believe in God's sovereignty because when I professed it before, I really thought I believed it. I needed this bad experience to show me that there were some big areas of darkness in my heart.

I'm still coming to terms with it and wrestling with God about where to go from here. I'm not really sure to be quite honest. But I can say that I am for sure God had everything to do with my test on Tuesday. And His plan had nothing to do with me passing or failing or anything like that. I think that the CPA exam this first time around was not about me getting accounting, but about me trusting God. It was about me learning that I didn't really understand what resting in belief was.

That I am sure of. God intended to teach me a lot. A LOT. I'm still digging through it to be honest. I'm still trying to learn how to love the Lord fully, to find my rest in Him by truly TRULY believing in His will over everything....I'm still trying to see myself, mistakes and all, as truly and completely beloved. I'm still trying to just enjoy being still with God, because He simply is God. And that is never a waste of time.

There are so many things the Lord Jesus is doing right now. Hopefully I can have a little more clarity in what it is later on.

For now, all I can say is the CPA exam was awful, but it revealed my messy heart...without it being awful, I would never have realized my lack of faith and my hypocrisy in professing that God is sovereign. It had to be more than words for me...I had to experience it, to "get" it.

I'm thankful that God is so good and faithful...I'm glad He perseveres and has patience in teaching me. I still don't even "get" it. But at least I see that there is something I need to "get".

Tomorrow is the Day.

Tomorrow is the day that I will take the first section of the CPA exam.

I'm excited, but I'm also a little nervous.

Right now, I feel relaxed and I feel pretty okay, but I keep hearing these lies that I'm not studying hard enough, or I haven't worked hard enough, or that I'm going to have a panic attack as soon I sit down for the test and nothing I try to do will help. Lies.

So I have some prayer requests:

1. That I not choose to be anxious, but that I completely walk in faith during the test. Right now I'm okay, but satan is attacking and there is still 27 hours until my test.

2. That I slow down when taking my test. I took a practice exam yesterday, which was EXACTLY like the real exam, right down to the way the buttons work and how the timer works (also, it was a full four hour exam, just like the real one). I got done an hour an half before the 4 hours was up. I barely passed with a 75, which is really good, but I need to slow down, because some of the questions I missed were because I read over it too fast and had I slowed down, I probably would have gotten it correct.

3. I need to live in faith that God is truly sovereign and that whatever happens is the best for me. Passing may not be the best....maybe it is. Whatever happens though, is what God intended. Easy to say, hard to accept and fully believe and trust in your heart with.

I think that is really all I have. Jesus is the only way I can get through this without going crazy and losing myself in the CPA exam...prayer has had such a huge impact. My mom has been telling me how she's been praying for me this week and looking back I see how balanced and good my studying has been throughout the week...God is so good and faithful. So thanks for your prayer :) It means more to me than you know.

Study, Study, Study

No, I'm not avoiding you.

No, I'm not out of the country.

No, I'm not married yet.

....It's just this....

My CPA exam is next Tuesday and there is SO much stuff to know.

This "review" week is one where I kind of have to study by myself...at least I can't study with people who only need to get some non-urgent stuff done, because it is so easy for me to talk and forget about the exam and then freak out when I realize how much time I've given up. It's also really hard for me to keep myself accountable to studying and doing this as unto the LORD.

About the only people that I can study with are other people in their "review" week for the exam and Reed, just cause he has a TON of stuff he has to get done too (he's taking 9 hours on top of working 40 hours a week)...and he is really good at keeping me accountable to studying. So he tries to call me out if I'm getting distracted etc.

So all that to say...I'm sorry I haven't seen all your pretty faces recently....

BUT!

after next Tuesday...I'M FREE! At least for a week and a half! And I want to have a party, or just hang out with YOU! So, if anyone would like to join me in playing some wii/maybe watching some girlie movies next weekend (like the weekend of the 20th through the 22nd), please let me know ;). I'm open and available.

Oh and I like coffee too...so coffee dates any night after the 17th are welcome :)

p.s. Thanks to everyone who is just loving me through this busy time in my life...I'm sure its note easy, but thanks for sticking with me :)

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

I just signed up for the CPA exam!

I am officially taking the first one on February 17! A little later than I was planning, but should give me TONS of time to study!

And I'm taking my second one April 22!!

Now I just need to schedule the third one at the beginning of April and I'm set!

I know this is lame that this excites me...BUT I'M SO EXCITED :) :) :) :)

I bought a new planner!

I have a love-hate relationship with my planners.

Sometimes, they are fine and I just use them for what they are meant for, jotting down to-do's.

But then sometimes they take on more meaning for me. Sometimes, they affect my mood. Crazy, right?

Here is my issue, when life gets stressful and full of "to-do's", I just can't handle having that stinkin rec planner. I mean most of the time, thats what I use and I'm fine with it.

But when I am busy and it is BLACK AND WHITE (dreary) and telling me that I need to work out 3 times a week, I just want to punch myself in the face. It makes me so depressed.

Okay, Okay you guys, I know I should be working out 3 times a week, but what if I just filled out my next two weeks of studying and I don't know when I'll have time to breathe? It's not so easy.

Anyways, all of this to say that yesterday I realized that my "final review week" for the CPA (the first of four sections of the exam) starts SATURDAY!! So I had to kind of get a game-plan going for the two weeks before my test.

A lot of times I just get sad looking at my old planner, because its just dreary (explained above) so because I was planning out my studying for the next two weeks, I decided it was NEW planner time! My planner kind of looks like the one pictured above...except cuter :)

It really does make me feel better....don't ask me why....it just does.

So I bought this super cute (super expensive...ouch) planner from target. It was worth it though, because I was able to just sit and kind of plan out how I was going to "attack" this exam.

I think I can do it :) I may drop of the face of the earth for 2 weeks (unless of course you want to come sit next to me at Starbucks!), but all-in-all, I think I can get it done.

Just a quick little fact...I have scheduled 56 hours of studying from this Saturday to next Friday night, with the plan to take the exam on Saturday morning. Okay I know that sounds crazy, but that is only giving myself like 3 hours to review each of the 9 sections, it gives me time to take 2 practice exams that are built just like the exam (so 4 hours long each) and it gives me time to go back over any memorization of rules that I may have forgotten over the month. After all of that, I'm just going to work problems over and over and over...just to get them nailed it.

I am determined to pass.

The one thing cool about all this is that last night, at praise and worship in our small group, I just sat there praising God by thinking of how AWESOME He is...how BIG He is. He is a healing and redeeming God. He is ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL.

All this studying doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me anymore. Is it a lot of time? Yeah...but it's necessary to do well. And even though I'm busy, I carry my love Jesus with me everywhere. He is my rock and strength, even when I can't find any of my own.

It kind of makes the CPA exam seem like nothing.

Oh that's right....it is nothing compared to my Abba, Jesus.

good :)

One more disclaimer....just because I know and am desiring to be faithful in this whole journey, I know I will break down. I just pray that when I do, I turn to Jesus.

This verse has blown my mind and I really feel like the Lord is teaching me SO much about it with regards to how I walk through this exam "season" of my life:

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
Romans 14:22-23

It's that last part that gets me.

It is SIN to do anything without faith.

I don't know that I completely understand, but pray that over me and this exam.

I love you guys who read this and pray for me...it is such a blessing.

Until next time :)

Welcome to the School of Rock

Well hello everyone! I thought I would take this opportunity to recap my first week of getting into the studying grind for the CPA exam. Overall, it was not too bad. I only felt a little discouraged/defeated maybe twice and REALLY briefly, its amazing how faithful God is when you call on Him in those moments. I'm reading this book called "Abba's Child" and it is talking a lot about the empowerment and strength we can have if we just recognize Jesus Christ's present risenness (basically meaning that we should not just appreciate Christ rising from the dead 2000 years ago, but that we should understand that it means He is walking with us constantly today). We can literally meet with the Lord at anytime...As much as you can say "oh yeah I knew that", I just don't know how much I actually realize/take advantage of the amazing power that exists when your Savior walks along side you.

So here goes the actual recap:

Monday- Started off with our first Becker review class, which I kind of alluded to in some past posts. Really the review class is a whirlwind because your highlighting and writing notes the whole 4 hours. It was really good to have friends with me though...I'm trying to only speak words of encouragement and hopefulness. Our God gives us hope, so I'm going to be a bringer of hope.

Tuesday- Got into serious study mode at my house with Jennifer, Toni and Patricia. Intense. The first "chapter" we went over was not too tough, so I got through the notes and homework pretty quickly. Then I played wii.

Okay so I'm going to digress a little. I LOVE my new wii. It is SO much fun and has facilitated the goofiest moods that I have had in a while. Now, I have also realized that I can get too into playing the wii and it can be a major distraction from spending time with the Lord or studying, but kept under control, it is just freakin amazing. My favorite games are wii tennis and mario party 8...mario party being like my WAY all time favorite.

See doesn't it look like so much fun! See the cute red-headed character in the back? That's who I play, her name is Daisy....hahaha too much! I may seem like a little princess on screen, but I can dominate in that game!

Okay, back to recap time:

Wednesday and Thursday: We had another Becker class that night, but this time it was a little more challenging material and I remembered going home that night thinking, "Oh man I didn't remember a thing that lecturer talked about".

However, the next morning I went to Starbucks and spent a good 3 hours re-looking over the notes and the concepts began to make sense. The only hard thing about it, is there are so many rules to remember. Only do XXX if ALL of these 4 requirements are met. There was like 3 different things like that.

Thursday was also strange because Reed texted me in the morning saying his stomach wasn't feeling good. I thought maybe it was just one of those days, but nothing serious. Then at around 4 I got a call that he had thrown up at work and was headed home. Odd, but still I thought he should just get some rest and lay down. We discussed at this point that since he was CERTAIN he had caught this from his roommate Zach (who had been sick a few days before with the EXACT same symptoms) that I should not see him for a couple days, just because I still feel some lingering mono symptoms and since my immune system is low, it might not be a good idea. Well later that night after I hung out with Rachel (and her new kitty :), SOOOO cute) I got a text from Reed saying he had thrown up like 6 or 7 more times this evening. I called him and we talked and I realized that he was unable to keep ANYTHING down...water included. So that led to the next predicament, Reed was starting to get dehydrated. He called his mom and started taking this medicine that still didn't work. After a couple hours he started to get a dehydration headache pretty bad because he was still unable to keep down liquids. So at around 11, Zach took him to the hospital so that he could get an IV and get some fluids in him. CRAZY! I was left at home only texting Reed back and forth to hear how things were going. Apparently the IV helped a lot though because he felt a lot better the next day and actually ate two pieces of bread! He is MUCH better now, actually he is perfectly normal! But it was a seriously crazy 36 hours!

Friday- I did NO studying, which I later regretted because the homework for the chapter turned out to be REALLY hard...but I did have fun babysitting the Perryman's (couple who disciples Reed and I) kids.

Saturday- I woke up around 8:30 and started to study, but was having some serious distraction issues, not even to anything in specific, its just that my brain did not want to do accounting problems. Plus the problems weren't even making sense! So I went and saw Valkyrie with Jamie, which was WAY sad, but I thought it was a pretty okay movie in the end.

Sunday- Reed and I went to church together, like we do every Sunday we are in College Station, but it was just so good yesterday. I missed FBC Bryan and brother Tim just gave a really raw and vulnerable sermon that really challenge everyone to simplify life.

After the wonderful morning, I felt so much strength to start off my really busy day ahead. Because I had slacked off Friday and Saturday, I knew I needed to get a solid amount of studying in, so I studied from 12:30ish to 5:30 at Sweets and then came home and studied from 8:30-10:30. It was good, there were little moments when I would feel exhausted and want to give up, but there was always something keeping me going. I know that it was most definitely the Lord. All good things are from Him and I am feeling it so much throughout this process.

So here I am, Monday morning, at work and feeling really positive about this week! I have A LOT of studying to do, I'm going to try and study about 10 hours more than I did this week, which is huge, BUT I know that the Lord will help me through it. I just need to not kid myself and think that I have strength enough to accomplish that kind of a task on my own. I know I don't.

Anyways, here is to a wonderful Monday!

CPA Madness

Monday night, at approximately 6:00 PM I officially began studying for the CPA exam. It started pretty innocently with some recommendations on how to study and that if we sacrificed relationships it would be worth it in the end for your career. riiiiiight. Even joking about that shows how little we value fellowship now-a-days.

After the "I'm going to intimidate and scare you into studying for four months straight" speech, we watched our first lecture for 3 hours and 45 minutes. It really wasn't too bad, although I never would have lasted had we not had a 10 minute break in the middle. It was also nice to sit next to people you know. That way when the lecturer makes a ridiculous joke about spending Friday night date with the format of an income statement, we just looked at each other with disgust.

So here is what I am planning on doing with this whole CPA exam business. I am going to work hard, but I am not going to be motivated by the tactics that apparently the world thinks are the best.

I will not be motivated by fear. One of the biggest tactics they throw at us is to be afraid of the test and therefore you'll prepare adequately. I think the better way to look at this is so simply take it as seriously as it is. Is this a serious deal, most definitely. Something that I should be afraid of? Definitely NOT.

I will not be motivated by the money I will make if I am a licensed CPA therefore justifying spending less time with people I care about. Seriously CPA people, stop joking about "if they really loved you they'd let you studying all the time and be successful". If I really loved my friends and fiance, it would never, EVER be an option to sacrifice them. Will my amount of time decrease? Sure, but it is not impossible to pursue people when your studying 30 hours a week.

Most of all, I just want to not let this exam dominate my life. Will it dominate my time? Without a doubt, yes. But does that mean that I have to sacrifice joy, fun, peace, relationships, discipleship and friendships? I can guarantee the answer will be no.

How can I have so much confidence in this? Because this test is not an omen. It's a blessing. It is something I am truly thankful for and I truly believe that GOD, the Almighty, Sovereign God, ordained for me to take this test. He has given me a wonderful opportunity and HE has provided me with it. Not my effort, not my genius...No, the Lord on High. Therefore, I will not be afraid of a blessing. I will embrace it. I will not idolize this blessing. I will put it in its rightful place in my priorities. I will not let this blessing become everything my life is about. Is this exam a bad thing? No, but I can see how it easily could become something satan uses to tempt me to sin by putting it above the Lord and above people.

All that to say that I resolve to be EVER THANKFUL for the CPA exam. Hold me to this, please hold me accountable.

I resolve to not stress about the CPA exam. I know that a certain amount of natural stress is good, but I am talking about the hopeless, constantly anxious stress. DEFINITELY hold me to this.

I resolve to continually recognize that Jesus walking beside me and helping me is the only way I will make it through this test. Good thing I know that I have an ever faithful Savior.

That is where my complete confidence in this exam process comes from.

I am not relying on myself. I am choosing Jesus Christ. He will be my rock.