I feel like Jesus is teaching me a lot lately about what being in a relationship with Him looks like.
As sad as it is, when I "talked" to Jesus in prayer in the past, I didn't realize how stuck I was in the image of me relaying a verbal letter to heaven. I don't know that I ever truly looked at the room around me and thought, "Jesus, you are right here, you are sitting beside me...I can just speak."
I know this sounds really simple and maybe a lot of other people have already got this figured out. But I think that I was a slight bit off from really understanding that Jesus is PRESENT right now with me. I don't need to orchestrate a long and eloquent prayer. He is my Father, sitting right beside me. Why would I send a letter in the mail to my roommate knowing she was right there all along? I guess its kind of the same concept for me.
It makes the times I listen to worship songs in the car so different.
"When I think about the Lord, how He saved me, how He raised me..."
When I sing those words, in my thoughts I can speak to Jesus beside me and say, When I think about You Jesus, about the day You saved me, how You raised me. The real deal Jesus is sitting next to me, smiling as I shower Him with that praise. I reflect on my salvation story with the one who saved me...it makes it so much more meaningful and my heart just flutters. Before when I would think of that, I would sing it thinking of Jesus, reflecting on how awesome He is, but not consciously thinking, "Jesus, your sitting here and I want to tell you that this is my heart song to you."
It's kind of like the difference between me singing a corny Michael Buble song to Reed and singing it by myself while thinking of Reed. Singing with him next to me makes it so much more intimate...as if you can hear the heartbeat of our love.
I'm working on this in my relationship with Christ. God is so good and so incredibly faithful to continue to teach me this, to broaden and increase my definition of a "relationship with Christ".
I'm not sure where the Lord is taking me with it from here and I'm honestly not sure how much of this makes much sense to anyone else reading. The difference between how things were and how I am looking at them now are so DRASTICALLY different, but explaining the difference feels like I'm splitting a fine hair...So I understand if its not especially easy to understand what the heck I'm rambling about.
Kind of off topic a bit, but I need prayer for transformation of my time in the Word. I am hungry for true meaning out of the Word, but sometimes I can get intimidated and feel as if I'm not getting the full meaning and depth out of it. I am learning this cool new way of reading the bible that has been really fruitful (it's called the inductive bible study method), but I'm not completely sure how to do it just yet, so I'm still yearning and grasping for the fullness of the Word. God will grant us the desires of our hearts and I know He will be faithful.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Welcome to the School of Rock
Well hello everyone! I thought I would take this opportunity to recap my first week of getting into the studying grind for the CPA exam. Overall, it was not too bad. I only felt a little discouraged/defeated maybe twice and REALLY briefly, its amazing how faithful God is when you call on Him in those moments. I'm reading this book called "Abba's Child" and it is talking a lot about the empowerment and strength we can have if we just recognize Jesus Christ's present risenness (basically meaning that we should not just appreciate Christ rising from the dead 2000 years ago, but that we should understand that it means He is walking with us constantly today). We can literally meet with the Lord at anytime...As much as you can say "oh yeah I knew that", I just don't know how much I actually realize/take advantage of the amazing power that exists when your Savior walks along side you.
So here goes the actual recap:
Monday- Started off with our first Becker review class, which I kind of alluded to in some past posts. Really the review class is a whirlwind because your highlighting and writing notes the whole 4 hours. It was really good to have friends with me though...I'm trying to only speak words of encouragement and hopefulness. Our God gives us hope, so I'm going to be a bringer of hope.
Tuesday- Got into serious study mode at my house with Jennifer, Toni and Patricia. Intense. The first "chapter" we went over was not too tough, so I got through the notes and homework pretty quickly. Then I played wii.
Okay so I'm going to digress a little. I LOVE my new wii. It is SO much fun and has facilitated the goofiest moods that I have had in a while. Now, I have also realized that I can get too into playing the wii and it can be a major distraction from spending time with the Lord or studying, but kept under control, it is just freakin amazing. My favorite games are wii tennis and mario party 8...mario party being like my WAY all time favorite.
See doesn't it look like so much fun! See the cute red-headed character in the back? That's who I play, her name is Daisy....hahaha too much! I may seem like a little princess on screen, but I can dominate in that game!
Okay, back to recap time:
Wednesday and Thursday: We had another Becker class that night, but this time it was a little more challenging material and I remembered going home that night thinking, "Oh man I didn't remember a thing that lecturer talked about".
However, the next morning I went to Starbucks and spent a good 3 hours re-looking over the notes and the concepts began to make sense. The only hard thing about it, is there are so many rules to remember. Only do XXX if ALL of these 4 requirements are met. There was like 3 different things like that.
Thursday was also strange because Reed texted me in the morning saying his stomach wasn't feeling good. I thought maybe it was just one of those days, but nothing serious. Then at around 4 I got a call that he had thrown up at work and was headed home. Odd, but still I thought he should just get some rest and lay down. We discussed at this point that since he was CERTAIN he had caught this from his roommate Zach (who had been sick a few days before with the EXACT same symptoms) that I should not see him for a couple days, just because I still feel some lingering mono symptoms and since my immune system is low, it might not be a good idea. Well later that night after I hung out with Rachel (and her new kitty :), SOOOO cute) I got a text from Reed saying he had thrown up like 6 or 7 more times this evening. I called him and we talked and I realized that he was unable to keep ANYTHING down...water included. So that led to the next predicament, Reed was starting to get dehydrated. He called his mom and started taking this medicine that still didn't work. After a couple hours he started to get a dehydration headache pretty bad because he was still unable to keep down liquids. So at around 11, Zach took him to the hospital so that he could get an IV and get some fluids in him. CRAZY! I was left at home only texting Reed back and forth to hear how things were going. Apparently the IV helped a lot though because he felt a lot better the next day and actually ate two pieces of bread! He is MUCH better now, actually he is perfectly normal! But it was a seriously crazy 36 hours!
Friday- I did NO studying, which I later regretted because the homework for the chapter turned out to be REALLY hard...but I did have fun babysitting the Perryman's (couple who disciples Reed and I) kids.
Saturday- I woke up around 8:30 and started to study, but was having some serious distraction issues, not even to anything in specific, its just that my brain did not want to do accounting problems. Plus the problems weren't even making sense! So I went and saw Valkyrie with Jamie, which was WAY sad, but I thought it was a pretty okay movie in the end.
Sunday- Reed and I went to church together, like we do every Sunday we are in College Station, but it was just so good yesterday. I missed FBC Bryan and brother Tim just gave a really raw and vulnerable sermon that really challenge everyone to simplify life.
After the wonderful morning, I felt so much strength to start off my really busy day ahead. Because I had slacked off Friday and Saturday, I knew I needed to get a solid amount of studying in, so I studied from 12:30ish to 5:30 at Sweets and then came home and studied from 8:30-10:30. It was good, there were little moments when I would feel exhausted and want to give up, but there was always something keeping me going. I know that it was most definitely the Lord. All good things are from Him and I am feeling it so much throughout this process.
So here I am, Monday morning, at work and feeling really positive about this week! I have A LOT of studying to do, I'm going to try and study about 10 hours more than I did this week, which is huge, BUT I know that the Lord will help me through it. I just need to not kid myself and think that I have strength enough to accomplish that kind of a task on my own. I know I don't.
Anyways, here is to a wonderful Monday!
So here goes the actual recap:
Monday- Started off with our first Becker review class, which I kind of alluded to in some past posts. Really the review class is a whirlwind because your highlighting and writing notes the whole 4 hours. It was really good to have friends with me though...I'm trying to only speak words of encouragement and hopefulness. Our God gives us hope, so I'm going to be a bringer of hope.
Tuesday- Got into serious study mode at my house with Jennifer, Toni and Patricia. Intense. The first "chapter" we went over was not too tough, so I got through the notes and homework pretty quickly. Then I played wii.
Okay so I'm going to digress a little. I LOVE my new wii. It is SO much fun and has facilitated the goofiest moods that I have had in a while. Now, I have also realized that I can get too into playing the wii and it can be a major distraction from spending time with the Lord or studying, but kept under control, it is just freakin amazing. My favorite games are wii tennis and mario party 8...mario party being like my WAY all time favorite.
See doesn't it look like so much fun! See the cute red-headed character in the back? That's who I play, her name is Daisy....hahaha too much! I may seem like a little princess on screen, but I can dominate in that game!Okay, back to recap time:
Wednesday and Thursday: We had another Becker class that night, but this time it was a little more challenging material and I remembered going home that night thinking, "Oh man I didn't remember a thing that lecturer talked about".
However, the next morning I went to Starbucks and spent a good 3 hours re-looking over the notes and the concepts began to make sense. The only hard thing about it, is there are so many rules to remember. Only do XXX if ALL of these 4 requirements are met. There was like 3 different things like that.
Thursday was also strange because Reed texted me in the morning saying his stomach wasn't feeling good. I thought maybe it was just one of those days, but nothing serious. Then at around 4 I got a call that he had thrown up at work and was headed home. Odd, but still I thought he should just get some rest and lay down. We discussed at this point that since he was CERTAIN he had caught this from his roommate Zach (who had been sick a few days before with the EXACT same symptoms) that I should not see him for a couple days, just because I still feel some lingering mono symptoms and since my immune system is low, it might not be a good idea. Well later that night after I hung out with Rachel (and her new kitty :), SOOOO cute) I got a text from Reed saying he had thrown up like 6 or 7 more times this evening. I called him and we talked and I realized that he was unable to keep ANYTHING down...water included. So that led to the next predicament, Reed was starting to get dehydrated. He called his mom and started taking this medicine that still didn't work. After a couple hours he started to get a dehydration headache pretty bad because he was still unable to keep down liquids. So at around 11, Zach took him to the hospital so that he could get an IV and get some fluids in him. CRAZY! I was left at home only texting Reed back and forth to hear how things were going. Apparently the IV helped a lot though because he felt a lot better the next day and actually ate two pieces of bread! He is MUCH better now, actually he is perfectly normal! But it was a seriously crazy 36 hours!
Friday- I did NO studying, which I later regretted because the homework for the chapter turned out to be REALLY hard...but I did have fun babysitting the Perryman's (couple who disciples Reed and I) kids.
Saturday- I woke up around 8:30 and started to study, but was having some serious distraction issues, not even to anything in specific, its just that my brain did not want to do accounting problems. Plus the problems weren't even making sense! So I went and saw Valkyrie with Jamie, which was WAY sad, but I thought it was a pretty okay movie in the end.
Sunday- Reed and I went to church together, like we do every Sunday we are in College Station, but it was just so good yesterday. I missed FBC Bryan and brother Tim just gave a really raw and vulnerable sermon that really challenge everyone to simplify life.
After the wonderful morning, I felt so much strength to start off my really busy day ahead. Because I had slacked off Friday and Saturday, I knew I needed to get a solid amount of studying in, so I studied from 12:30ish to 5:30 at Sweets and then came home and studied from 8:30-10:30. It was good, there were little moments when I would feel exhausted and want to give up, but there was always something keeping me going. I know that it was most definitely the Lord. All good things are from Him and I am feeling it so much throughout this process.
So here I am, Monday morning, at work and feeling really positive about this week! I have A LOT of studying to do, I'm going to try and study about 10 hours more than I did this week, which is huge, BUT I know that the Lord will help me through it. I just need to not kid myself and think that I have strength enough to accomplish that kind of a task on my own. I know I don't.
Anyways, here is to a wonderful Monday!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I don't know how to do this...
Uhoh, I am not sure how to do all of the accounting problems. I keep getting them wrong and I really don't understand why the computer is saying to add certain things to the liabilities even though its a prepaid liability. that is an ASSET computer, not a liability.
i think it's cheating. or lying. or doing something sinful.
This means only one thing. Time to take a break, freshen up and go see a movie with Jamie. Oh yeah and play a little bit of wii (sometime soon I'll have to post about my current love of my new wii).
Okay, off to play with my P^2!
i think it's cheating. or lying. or doing something sinful.
This means only one thing. Time to take a break, freshen up and go see a movie with Jamie. Oh yeah and play a little bit of wii (sometime soon I'll have to post about my current love of my new wii).
Okay, off to play with my P^2!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
CPA Madness
Monday night, at approximately 6:00 PM I officially began studying for the CPA exam. It started pretty innocently with some recommendations on how to study and that if we sacrificed relationships it would be worth it in the end for your career. riiiiiight. Even joking about that shows how little we value fellowship now-a-days.
After the "I'm going to intimidate and scare you into studying for four months straight" speech, we watched our first lecture for 3 hours and 45 minutes. It really wasn't too bad, although I never would have lasted had we not had a 10 minute break in the middle. It was also nice to sit next to people you know. That way when the lecturer makes a ridiculous joke about spending Friday night date with the format of an income statement, we just looked at each other with disgust.
So here is what I am planning on doing with this whole CPA exam business. I am going to work hard, but I am not going to be motivated by the tactics that apparently the world thinks are the best.
I will not be motivated by fear. One of the biggest tactics they throw at us is to be afraid of the test and therefore you'll prepare adequately. I think the better way to look at this is so simply take it as seriously as it is. Is this a serious deal, most definitely. Something that I should be afraid of? Definitely NOT.
I will not be motivated by the money I will make if I am a licensed CPA therefore justifying spending less time with people I care about. Seriously CPA people, stop joking about "if they really loved you they'd let you studying all the time and be successful". If I really loved my friends and fiance, it would never, EVER be an option to sacrifice them. Will my amount of time decrease? Sure, but it is not impossible to pursue people when your studying 30 hours a week.
Most of all, I just want to not let this exam dominate my life. Will it dominate my time? Without a doubt, yes. But does that mean that I have to sacrifice joy, fun, peace, relationships, discipleship and friendships? I can guarantee the answer will be no.
How can I have so much confidence in this? Because this test is not an omen. It's a blessing. It is something I am truly thankful for and I truly believe that GOD, the Almighty, Sovereign God, ordained for me to take this test. He has given me a wonderful opportunity and HE has provided me with it. Not my effort, not my genius...No, the Lord on High. Therefore, I will not be afraid of a blessing. I will embrace it. I will not idolize this blessing. I will put it in its rightful place in my priorities. I will not let this blessing become everything my life is about. Is this exam a bad thing? No, but I can see how it easily could become something satan uses to tempt me to sin by putting it above the Lord and above people.
All that to say that I resolve to be EVER THANKFUL for the CPA exam. Hold me to this, please hold me accountable.
I resolve to not stress about the CPA exam. I know that a certain amount of natural stress is good, but I am talking about the hopeless, constantly anxious stress. DEFINITELY hold me to this.
I resolve to continually recognize that Jesus walking beside me and helping me is the only way I will make it through this test. Good thing I know that I have an ever faithful Savior.
That is where my complete confidence in this exam process comes from.
I am not relying on myself. I am choosing Jesus Christ. He will be my rock.
After the "I'm going to intimidate and scare you into studying for four months straight" speech, we watched our first lecture for 3 hours and 45 minutes. It really wasn't too bad, although I never would have lasted had we not had a 10 minute break in the middle. It was also nice to sit next to people you know. That way when the lecturer makes a ridiculous joke about spending Friday night date with the format of an income statement, we just looked at each other with disgust.
So here is what I am planning on doing with this whole CPA exam business. I am going to work hard, but I am not going to be motivated by the tactics that apparently the world thinks are the best.
I will not be motivated by fear. One of the biggest tactics they throw at us is to be afraid of the test and therefore you'll prepare adequately. I think the better way to look at this is so simply take it as seriously as it is. Is this a serious deal, most definitely. Something that I should be afraid of? Definitely NOT.
I will not be motivated by the money I will make if I am a licensed CPA therefore justifying spending less time with people I care about. Seriously CPA people, stop joking about "if they really loved you they'd let you studying all the time and be successful". If I really loved my friends and fiance, it would never, EVER be an option to sacrifice them. Will my amount of time decrease? Sure, but it is not impossible to pursue people when your studying 30 hours a week.
Most of all, I just want to not let this exam dominate my life. Will it dominate my time? Without a doubt, yes. But does that mean that I have to sacrifice joy, fun, peace, relationships, discipleship and friendships? I can guarantee the answer will be no.
How can I have so much confidence in this? Because this test is not an omen. It's a blessing. It is something I am truly thankful for and I truly believe that GOD, the Almighty, Sovereign God, ordained for me to take this test. He has given me a wonderful opportunity and HE has provided me with it. Not my effort, not my genius...No, the Lord on High. Therefore, I will not be afraid of a blessing. I will embrace it. I will not idolize this blessing. I will put it in its rightful place in my priorities. I will not let this blessing become everything my life is about. Is this exam a bad thing? No, but I can see how it easily could become something satan uses to tempt me to sin by putting it above the Lord and above people.
All that to say that I resolve to be EVER THANKFUL for the CPA exam. Hold me to this, please hold me accountable.
I resolve to not stress about the CPA exam. I know that a certain amount of natural stress is good, but I am talking about the hopeless, constantly anxious stress. DEFINITELY hold me to this.
I resolve to continually recognize that Jesus walking beside me and helping me is the only way I will make it through this test. Good thing I know that I have an ever faithful Savior.
That is where my complete confidence in this exam process comes from.
I am not relying on myself. I am choosing Jesus Christ. He will be my rock.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Oh Come Let Us Adore Him
You know what I have been learning this Christmas?
I've been learning that I don't think I have a clue what REAL adoration looks like. I am kind of scared to say that on here, cause who knows how many people may feel like its so easy to just adore the Lord...but I don't know that I take time to really just adore the Lord.
Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord with all my heart. Thinking and dwelling with Him in my heart throughout the day makes life full and meaningful. It gives my life purpose.
But worshiping in true adoration. I think I have a lot to learn. I don't quite know how to approach this except to just say, "Jesus, I need to learn how to just adore and rejoice in you."
Often times I get freaked out, cause I just don't know how to figure out things. Like in this instance, I don't know how to learn how to truly adore the Lord. I see examples of it in Psalms, but that is not exactly a practical "how-to". Sometimes, this accounting oriented brain would just like a simple "how-to".
The one thing I know though, is that even though there is not a "how-to"....God is faithful. I know with all assurance that if I seek Him, He will be faithful to answer. He may not give me a "how-to", but what He will give me will be a wonderful answer like I could have never imagined.
Lord, teach me how to praise you, teach my heart how to rejoice in your name always, guide my heart to sing praises as David did...teach me how to love you more.
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty expanse.
2Praise Him for His mighty deeds;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.
3Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
4Praise Him with timbrel and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.
5Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with resounding cymbals.
6Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!
I've been learning that I don't think I have a clue what REAL adoration looks like. I am kind of scared to say that on here, cause who knows how many people may feel like its so easy to just adore the Lord...but I don't know that I take time to really just adore the Lord.
Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord with all my heart. Thinking and dwelling with Him in my heart throughout the day makes life full and meaningful. It gives my life purpose.
But worshiping in true adoration. I think I have a lot to learn. I don't quite know how to approach this except to just say, "Jesus, I need to learn how to just adore and rejoice in you."
Often times I get freaked out, cause I just don't know how to figure out things. Like in this instance, I don't know how to learn how to truly adore the Lord. I see examples of it in Psalms, but that is not exactly a practical "how-to". Sometimes, this accounting oriented brain would just like a simple "how-to".
The one thing I know though, is that even though there is not a "how-to"....God is faithful. I know with all assurance that if I seek Him, He will be faithful to answer. He may not give me a "how-to", but what He will give me will be a wonderful answer like I could have never imagined.
Lord, teach me how to praise you, teach my heart how to rejoice in your name always, guide my heart to sing praises as David did...teach me how to love you more.
Psalm 150
A Psalm of Praise.
1Praise the LORD!Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty expanse.
2Praise Him for His mighty deeds;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.
3Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
4Praise Him with timbrel and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.
5Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with resounding cymbals.
6Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!
Monday, December 15, 2008
i love days with my sister :)
today i did a whole lot of errands. nothing really spectacular and honestly would have been so boring....
BUT
i had my sister!
i just love her! we have SO much fun together. and somehow going to the chiropractor, waiting for 30 minutes so that a store would open to get a gift, going to the next store to pick up a gift, going to the bank and finally going to my doctor just to tell her that i have mono again. but it was worth it to stick in a wonderful lunch at olive garden.
we just have so much fun together. we love being silly and dancing to all of her millions of Christmas songs on her ipod. we love laughing about crazy drivers in San Antonio. she is so supportive of reed and i and she never tires of me talking about him, or our wedding.
she is great :)
Thank you Jesus for sisters!
BUT
i had my sister!
i just love her! we have SO much fun together. and somehow going to the chiropractor, waiting for 30 minutes so that a store would open to get a gift, going to the next store to pick up a gift, going to the bank and finally going to my doctor just to tell her that i have mono again. but it was worth it to stick in a wonderful lunch at olive garden.
we just have so much fun together. we love being silly and dancing to all of her millions of Christmas songs on her ipod. we love laughing about crazy drivers in San Antonio. she is so supportive of reed and i and she never tires of me talking about him, or our wedding.
she is great :)
Thank you Jesus for sisters!
Friday, December 12, 2008
no more school or work...
wow, i do not know what to do with myself right now.
thats a lie, i do know what i should do. i should stop wasting time online and go clean and be productive. i should spend some sweet time with the Lord and then do some work around the apartment. its amazing how my soul longs for that, but my flesh longs to sit and not put effort into everything.
here is my first confession on this blog...i have to actively fight my laziness. it is not easy for me to get motivated. and even though i enjoy reading my bible a heck of a lot more than i enjoy sitting mindlessly at my computer, sometimes i really have to fight the urge to sit here and let my mind be numb. i think i buy into satan's lie that it is the fun and good to sit and do nothing purposeful. but then that is his goal...to make me do nothing purposeful. i often have to take a step back and look at the entirity of the situation before i realize that i am doing the exact thing that satan desires...making myself ineffective through my own laziness.
ugh. well, here is my first step to fight the temptation today. i'm going to stop blogging. and then i'm going to go have a fruitful day. :) :)
God is good and oh so patient. Thank you Lord!
thats a lie, i do know what i should do. i should stop wasting time online and go clean and be productive. i should spend some sweet time with the Lord and then do some work around the apartment. its amazing how my soul longs for that, but my flesh longs to sit and not put effort into everything.
here is my first confession on this blog...i have to actively fight my laziness. it is not easy for me to get motivated. and even though i enjoy reading my bible a heck of a lot more than i enjoy sitting mindlessly at my computer, sometimes i really have to fight the urge to sit here and let my mind be numb. i think i buy into satan's lie that it is the fun and good to sit and do nothing purposeful. but then that is his goal...to make me do nothing purposeful. i often have to take a step back and look at the entirity of the situation before i realize that i am doing the exact thing that satan desires...making myself ineffective through my own laziness.
ugh. well, here is my first step to fight the temptation today. i'm going to stop blogging. and then i'm going to go have a fruitful day. :) :)
God is good and oh so patient. Thank you Lord!
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