Study, Study, Study

No, I'm not avoiding you.

No, I'm not out of the country.

No, I'm not married yet.

....It's just this....

My CPA exam is next Tuesday and there is SO much stuff to know.

This "review" week is one where I kind of have to study by myself...at least I can't study with people who only need to get some non-urgent stuff done, because it is so easy for me to talk and forget about the exam and then freak out when I realize how much time I've given up. It's also really hard for me to keep myself accountable to studying and doing this as unto the LORD.

About the only people that I can study with are other people in their "review" week for the exam and Reed, just cause he has a TON of stuff he has to get done too (he's taking 9 hours on top of working 40 hours a week)...and he is really good at keeping me accountable to studying. So he tries to call me out if I'm getting distracted etc.

So all that to say...I'm sorry I haven't seen all your pretty faces recently....

BUT!

after next Tuesday...I'M FREE! At least for a week and a half! And I want to have a party, or just hang out with YOU! So, if anyone would like to join me in playing some wii/maybe watching some girlie movies next weekend (like the weekend of the 20th through the 22nd), please let me know ;). I'm open and available.

Oh and I like coffee too...so coffee dates any night after the 17th are welcome :)

p.s. Thanks to everyone who is just loving me through this busy time in my life...I'm sure its note easy, but thanks for sticking with me :)

I know, I know

I change my blog background every five seconds...

Ironically, the title of this background on the cutest little blog website is called "I'm torn."

It was meant to be I guess. This one might stay on here for a while, it's pretty cute :)

The Roses

God is so good. And so sovereign. I love how he awakens my heart in the most amazing ways.

Yesterday when I was studying, a song began playing on my Nickel Creek Pandora station...It was called The Roses by Caedmon's Call. After hearing it about 4 times over the past week, I was curious what album it was from. I clicked on the link and it took me to the album description (the album is called "Share the Well".

It is an album all about India.

My heart melted.

I don't know if many people know, except for Reed, but I have the biggest soft spot for India and Indian people.

It started with reading the book "Revolution in World Missions" by KP Yohannan. Amazing. Life Changing. This book gave me such a wake up call as far as where my perspective was on world missions. Missions had never impacted the depth of my heart so deeply.



God was moving my heart in such a big way, but the true "seal" that made me realize I had a heart for India was the amount of Indian people that were put into my life. I happen to be in a very technical field in the business school and besides the PPA students in all my classes, the other half is mostly international students. The majority are Indian students with some Chinese, Vietnamese and others mixed in.

At first, I will be so honest, I thought the Indian students were just going to think we were all so stupid because I had this idea that they were just machines that could do anything and everything perfect. I was so intimidated that I just hoped I could get by without them thinking I was an idiot.

Then I met Alok, Kabir, Nidhi, Vinodh, Loc, Bhargav and Kushal. These guys will never fully know how much they mean to me. I have learned so much from them...so much.

First, I learned that Indian people are....well, people. There are some really overachieving Indian people and there are some really slacker Indian people. I guess I realized that we had more similarities than differences than I thought. Just like I had pieces of overachiever and little pieces of slacker, so did they. They were human.

Second, I was humbled by how sincere and loving they are. Never ONCE did they ever forget my name. In fact, I started to have to take seriously the art of remembering people's names just because one introduction means they will forever remember my name. They are the most sincere and welcoming people I know. They always will stop and talk to me in the hallways and never once will they pretend like they don't see me in order to get where they are going quickly or avoid an awkward conversation. They care to know me.

Ever since then, I have been just realizing how much I love my Indian friends. Each semester I meet new friends and realize in a new way how wonderful these people are. I feel the LORD truly moving and showing me how beloved they are in His sight. None of them are Christians, in fact, most would claim to be Hindu, but don't really practice all that much. But they are beautiful people....I wish I could just give you a taste of how beautiful their hearts really are. Jesus has really opened up my heart to love and pray for them. They are so lost, but they are still so wonderful and they are children of God....

This semester I have been humbled and learning so much from the LORD. Jesus has shown me how much I truly desire control and how much I truly desire to be put together. He has revealed the sin in my heart that is afraid of losing friends I love if I'm not perfect to them all the time. He is showing me how I have bought into Satan's lie that people will not love me if I am anything but perfect to them all the time. I also have realized how much I try and perform perfectly for God. I didn't think I did it, but God has been so faithful in illuminating instances where I cannot come to terms with the fact that I will mess up. I can't just give myself, how I am, messiness and all, over to Jesus.

While Jesus has been holding me in His arms and tenderly comforting me as I have had sins exposed, I really have been trying to learn how to balance true communion with God and seeking to pour out. I think I am an "extremist" and choose either one side of the pendulum or the other. Either I am all about my relationship with Christ or I am all about serving. I have a hard time with balance.

God is so faithful, though. During this time of refinement, when I am learning how to TRULY understand that Jesus is PRESENT with me...He DESIRES me, He LOVES me, I don't have to hate myself in order to prove that I want to change, I just need to hand over my sin to Jesus and trust that He will refine me.

While I am learning all this, God is so AWESOME to remind me of my love for Indians. He is showing me how to balance being in relationship with Him and pouring out my love to others.

I totally wasn't expecting this CD we found to have anything to do with India. It was on a blue grass station. Blue grass and India? Yeah I wasn't expecting that.

But man the second I saw that, I bought the CD and it is just the most amazing songs about India. It even has native Indians performing their music on the CD.

It is beautiful. It makes me want to go to India. It makes me want to go hug Manopa (the girl that I sponsor through Gospel for Asia).

I just wanted to share how good, awesome, mighty, powerful, compassionate and INTENTIONAL my Mighty Father, Abba, has been.

He is the one who stirs our hearts. Nothing about this love for India is of me. He started it all and He is so faithful to continue it in my heart. I am so thankful for this reminder of my Indian friends.

It has woken my soul again.

Emergency Chiropractor Visit

Sorry Danielle...I know chiropractors freak you out...

So over the past week I've been having some back and neck pain. This happens a lot so I don't always think much of it. I just figure I'll try and get through the pain until I can get into the chiro the next time I go home.

This is what neck pain looks like...I'm sure if you were behind me you could see the red glow of my pain.





Well it progressively got worse and two nights ago I went to bed with my left side of my neck throbbing and occasionally shooting pain into my temple area. Oh yeah and the pain in my back was making my arm and shoulder feel a little numb. I decided to put ice on my neck, but the pain was so bad that I could feel it through the ice.

The next morning I woke up and it was making me dizzy because of how much it ached. About that point I realized I needed to get into a chiropractor. I tried calling this office I was referred to but they couldn't get me in until the 19th! WHAT!

Needless to say, I needed to see a chiropractor quick.

So I called my chiropractor in San Antonio, got an appointment for the next morning at 8 and I drove to Boerne after my class at 1:30.

Weirdest day ever...

I woke up like normal in College Station.

Drove to Boerne, met my mom for dinner.

Woke up this morning, went to the chiropractor (where I figured out it was a pinched nerve and he adjusted me and fixed me) and then drove back to College Station.

I returned today around 11:50. That's about two hours earlier than when I left to go out of town yesterday.

Weird.

But oh so worth it. I feel MUCH better now. :)

There is my random story for the week :)

This is Home

"This Is Home"

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place I've never known

This is home
Now I'm finally back to where I belong
Where I Belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
This is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide it's not over yet
We are miracles and we're not alone


And now after all my searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I've got a brand new mindset
I can finally see the sunset
I'm gonna call it home


Now I know
Yeah, this is home
I've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home


*You should all seriously go listen to this song...youtube it or something. It's amazing. For some reason it encourages me...like with its sound and some of its words, but mostly the beat...just lifts me up. I like it a lot :)

Nickel Creek

I forgot how much I loved Nickel Creek. I lost a lot of my music when my last computer crumped and yesterday my sister told me to create a pandora station with nickel creek.

GREAT suggestion. It is the best music around.

I have forgotten why they are one of my favorites.

Plus the station plays Allison Krauss & Union Station. And her voice is pretty amazing too.

I am frustrated, jealous, hurt, selfish and my soul feels at odds with everything right now. That is just how I woke up feeling this morning...and I needed to confess it.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Isaiah 43:2-3